This post is going to be full of opinions, thoughts, you name it. On things that matter to me, but in ways different from how I see it matter to other people.
Over the past few days, I have been trying to teach a few prayers to my three year old daughter. I have been showing her how to light incense, light a lamp and pray. It is true that my faith has been shakey of late. I have questioned many rituals and still do. Yet, I want her to receive this faith ( even if pretended) for now. As a gift. I have my reasons for this.
The very first one being that rituals provide a template for the study of spirituality. They help you adhere to an idea, a concept. It is a form of meditation.
The second reason builds on this first concept. If you don’t learn a structure, what will you test or break? Like how Tagore says, without restraining the two ends of a string in your veenai,there is no music.
“I have on my table a violin string. It is free to move in any direction I like. If I twist one end, it responds; it is free.
But it is not free to sing. So I take it and fix it into my violin. I bind it and when it is bound, it is free for the first time to sing.” (TAGORE)
Indeed, how will my child learn to sing with the joy of faith if I don’t provide her the framework to do so? To lead her a little into the realms of the soul, not as a religious person, but as someone who constantly searches her own self, someone who seeks a bigger goal, a farther star. I believe it is faith, not love, that makes the world go round.
Wouldn’t my own wavering faith pose problems? Yes, but nothing that cannot be resolved without an honest chat . Who knows, it might get me started on a entirely different spiritual journey altogether.
We live in a sprawling house with loads of greenery, visiting birds and enormous amounts of sunlight. Time and again, people who visit comment on that and then almost on the same visit say,
“Oh, it is a nice house but way too much maintenance. It is especially difficult with a young kid, like yours!”
I smile it off for it probably means our house is not clean enough by their standards, but it also makes we wonder. What exactly is ‘maintenance’?
Is it a shining, spotless floor? Will a clean, scrubbed floor not do?
Is it a dust-free shelf? Will a shelf with well-loved books, read, re-read and savoured not make the mark?
Is it a cobweb free ceiling? Will a corner in an unobtrusive corner of your home with the most intricate spider web fail to amaze you?
Is it a pet free bedroom? Would you fail to understand the warmth of a four legged one in the dark of the night, despite all the hair?
I remember visiting grandparents, aunts and relatives as a kid. I have seen moss on their bathroom walls, earthworms in their courtyard, dust covered objects flung into an unused room, scorpions in unused shelves and of course, cobwebs in places that were unused. Surprisingly, none of those aunts or relatives ever apologised for any of this nor was it considered a lack of “maintenance”.
I am not advocating a slovenly existence, far from that. I appreciate freshly laundered sheets and a clean smelling bathroom as much as the next person. But I do wonder if our standards have been increasing over the years, and might slowly pass over into the realm of the “unrealistic “. The ‘hubs’ of a home need regular cleaning, like the kitchen, bathrooms and the bedrooms. The other areas,not so much, in my opinion.
Call me a slob but a few (or many) cobwebs or a dusty storeroom don’t make me feel less of a homemaker. What fun is a home with no creatures to observe or no junk to explore?