It’s not a new phenomenon, not at all. It affects only me. I succumb to it each time, letting it define me. Me, that is beyond all definition. Sigh! You did not understand a word, did you? See, that is what I mean : I am so quirky. I have so many quirks that you could keep counting until infinity. I wonder when, in the process of growing up, I had the time to develop all of them.
Let us start with a few. I cannot throw anything out of a moving train. NOTHING at all, even a used paper plate. I always have this weird fear that I will throw out something important. Like my hand, maybe.
Or the one where I want to say or do exactly the opposite of what someone suggests or asks. “Do you want to eat out tonight?” I always reply ” NO” even if my insides are screaming “YES” over and over again, just to contradict the person in question. I do not hate them or even dislike them, it is like a reflex.
They : Can you please go to the supermarket this evening?
Me : Okay, if you like. (You can bet a million dollars, I will not do it. Maybe the next evening, but not the same one!)
It is not easy being this contradictory. Imagine, a few years down the line, my child will ask me, ” Mama, do you love me?” No prizes for guessing the answer, and my child would be psyched for ever.
Another thing that I do and am annoyed with it myself is the way I pack my bag, fill my water bottle, apply powder to my face, wear my watch, look for a missing earring, comb my hair and apply kajal, ALL of it in the last, penultimate five minutes before leaving for work. Why on earth do I not do it earlier? I do not wake up late. I wake up on time, in fact early. Yet, the last five minutes are plain mad.
Why are my quirks so bizarre and even useless? I mean, take my mother. If she is in a weird mood, she does embroidery. Beautiful stuff no? And my sister? She cooks. She says it is cathartic. My brother takes to sleep. My husband is the best. In his worst moods, he clears the table of clutter, arranges the cosmetics in the bathroom in alphabetical order and puts away the groceries. What do I do in a bad mood? I scream my lungs out.
I give up. I want better quirks. That are useful, like the ones I have mentioned above. any ideas?
P.S: I eat rasam before sambar and I cannot brush at the wash basin in a train.